Stunned to be alive - 8th July 2017

Almost lost my life this Saturday. Sombering to say when it's so real and everything says you shouldn't be here....

On my way to what I hear was a beautiful wedding reception.

On to the A34 as the road bends to the left approaching the split I see a car moving slowly, and pretty sure it's in the outside lane (my lane) I take my foot off the gas to check my mirrors, as I've just oven taken a car, wanting to make sure I'm not boxed in or going to get side swiped. The white car is right there on my tail but notices I'm trying to get in their lane and backs off, I'm looking in my wing mirror, rear view, wing, rear ok...I have space to move over, so I start to move over and boom... I look back up and the car is there..crawling, meters away. I gasp, stomp the brake -standard reaction- it instantly sends me and the car in to a slide heading straight at the trees. Turning right to correct the slide the front wheels hop up on to the grass and there's no coming back. The front end of the car disappears in to the bushes and engulfs the car my mind starts flowing through at a million mph. I knew I was about to die, 100%. 

I didn't have the roof on. 

I covered my head just waiting for everything to turn black darkness or feel the life being being sapped from my body like a cold warmth. Just waiting for something to impale me, hit or crush me, I just knew I was gone. What they say about your life flashing before your eyes, it's true. In the million things I thought of, the most poignant was saying sorry to everyone, sorry that I won't be there for all your special moments, to make you laugh, to pick you up when you're down, to help with whatever it is you need...I especially thought of Mum who had to go through this when dad passed away in a similar accident back in '91 during a rally. I don't know how many times I said sorry, before I even slammed in to the verge 55mph? I don't know.

The front end must have tangled up or hit a tree, which sent the car cartwheeling two or three times through the bushes and trees, it was so loud. Amongst all my thoughts, dad wasn't wearing a helmet so I had to cover my head and protect myself as much as I could...my best chance but still expecting it to be pointless.

The final slam, the car's barrel rolled, flipped and crashed through a tree and landed upside down next to the road. The was silence was mortifying, blackness. I'm dead...I'm dying, something's happened...it's had to.....

Fuck I'm alive...fuck I'm upside down, still arms wrapped round my head, covering for dear life. I look up, or I suppose down, and see the ground an inch from my face, shattered glass, leaves and my stuff everywhere. I'm suspended by my seatbelt. Instantly my mind turns to this thing could still blow up. Am I stuck? Am I trapped? Do I die in a ball of flames? I hit the belt release and crumple on to the floor, no time to check if any bones are broken. I need to get out.

The windows have smashed out so there was a small gap between the door and the floor. I scrambled out in to daylight. Holy shit! I stand up and check myself.

Blood starts pouring down my face, and everything starts to move really fast. I'm spinning, dizzy, but still have my senses. I'm banged up but I'm still here. 

The guy in the car next to me came running down the road, all I remember him saying was they were going so slow, (talking about the car I avoided I guess). And I was asking him "am I ok"? "Is anything sticking out of me"? 

Apparently I had nothing sticking out of me so I ran back to the car, dove back in to get my phone and turn the ignition off, regardless that the battery was somewhere else and not in the car, the brand new radiator was somewhere down the road and there were bits everywhere!!!

An off duty paramedic .... sorry I'm just contemplating how the hell am I even here, fully functioning, to even write this down...how? Why?

Anyway an off duty paramedic shows up, then the fire engine, ambulance, police...it all felt like 5 minutes but it was over an hour and half before they took me to resus at the general. My left eye was flashing, I could see spirals and at this point I realised something has hit my forehead and my glasses had be ripped from my face.

It took them a lot to get me in the ambulance, and only then I could see how much blood there was, it was just running down my face; thick, dark claret lines.

All I can keep thinking is...I actually apologised to everyone.....I was more concerned that I couldn't be here for all the people in my life than for anything about myself. But for a split second, it wasn't all so bad, I'd get to see dad again.

Just so many different things were supposed to happen that day, and so many things that linked to the accident. 

I wasn't meant to drive, I was meant to take the train but my friend couldn't make it and I decided I wouldn't drink, so I drove. I was even offered a lift, which I thought ahh that's a good idea, but fancied driving, it was a beautiful day!

I saw my old glasses and thought, oh I'll throw them away I don't need them anymore and even said earlier that day to my best friend I'm thinking of changing the car out. 

I sent all my love and wishes for the future to my cousin on his wedding day, I hadn't spoken to him in ages and called another of my best friend funny names as per!

And as always I forgot my uncle's birthday, maybe that's my unfinished business?

I'm a spiritual guy and I know that I have someone looking over me and I've felt it before and I felt it this time, he was there! I live my life by signs...signs that Dad's watching still...guiding.

When I was laying in resus I heard my nurse, Victor, call down the doctor. She opened the curtains... "Hi my name's Hazel".  

Of all the names in the world my doctor could have had...that was the name of my beautiful, red Lotus Elise. PN07 HZL... Hazel.

Anyway, I'm still here, I really have no idea how, but I am. My head's pretty cut up, they glued it back together in 5 or 6 places. My arms took a hefty blow while covering my head, a branch maybe and I damaged my left foot. Everything hurts, shoulders are frozen, ribs sore, neck is a mess legs hurt, but I'm alive, so won't complain too much.

I've been given a chance and take nothing for granted! Get rid of all your stresses...

Life is gone in a matter of seconds so make big plans and do them before time runs out.

I love you all, thank you to everyone that's supported me so far. The world won't stop so keep your feet moving!

🤙🏼

The Journey Home Runs Straight Through An Apple

Leaving camp in a word...sucked! It was far tougher than I could have ever imagined. I'm usually pretty good with the whole separating thing, but this place really got a hold on me and although it's been such a short period of time Mah-Kee-Nac builds such a close knit family environment and I'm going to miss looking after these kids; the little nutcases they are. And I was doing so well right up to the part where Coach and I said our goodbyes. It put a lump in my throat, there's so much to learn from Coach, someone I could rely on, look up to at times and had a wicked time being the biggest kids on camp, eating 20 Popsicles a piece on July 4th when the kids only got one each. Acting like total madmen at a kid's camp and Maine trip was mental, laughing the entire time, but being able to switch the serious on in an instant to ref basketball and american football games, wouldn't have been the same. Oh and the clean cut rule...haha defying the system and seeing how much of a beard I could grow before Coach would chase me down to get rid of it, haha.

Bags packed, everything ready to go, I'm supposed to be heading to Manhattan, NY at 3pm but I've managed to score a ride on the Livingston, NJ bus at 10am. It was a long couple of hours on the road contemplating the reality of what was ahead of me in comparison to what could have been. A month travelling and surfing through California and Hawaii, seeing the family in Illinois then on to Long Beach, NYC for the NY Quiksilver ASP World Tour surf competition...all replaced with a 1.5 day wait to go home to get exams done. Oh well, a man has to do what he has to do to keep going on. Cali and Hawaii will always be there, university waits for no-one.

The last of the kids are picked up by their eagerly awaiting parents, Alex has been cruising behind the coach in his truck the entire time, bags are transferred and we hit the road again, dropping Ali C. off at his old home in South Orange, NJ and on to Best Western Newark, which no lie was an epic room, especially for $30 for the night.
Saying see ya to Alex was no doubt the toughest part of summer, but I gave him this insane knife we found on the Maine trip, inscribed on the handle "MKN '11 - Safe Journeys" on one side and "To: Alex - From: Seb" on the other. He's going off the grid for a while so figured if I can't physically have his back to whoop a leopard or bear's ass if needs be, I've just given him the means to open a can of whoopass himself. =)

I meet up with some of the Danbee girls who are staying in the hotel with me, change, and catch the train from Newark Penn station to New York Penn station, which if you remember way back to the beginning of this summer journey, spits you out in the middle of Manhattan, NY through the gates of Madison Square Garden.
Cue an awesome day in the New York hustle. 5th Avenue's logged in the SebSeb and with Georgia, Annie and Miss Bonvonni in tow, we make a B-line for one of the greatest shopping districts in the world. This is probably the best time to tell you Camp's given me the remainder of my wages in cold hard cash. A pocket full of Benjamin Franklins and the Big Apple knocking on my door...one word...ridiculous =D
We went to the Empire State Building and made it to the 2nd floor, the viewing auditorium wasn't a possibility on this day, but we saw the lobby nevertheless.
When the sun went down Times Square was as amazing as I remember it from years gone by. The stores have changed a bit and it looks a bit different, but it still has that buzz, that fantasy, that "I'm in a movie" puts a smile on your face factor.
Strolling arm in arm with my friend Annie as the light rain began to fall was a pretty cool moment, definitely a place to take someone special and should be on everyone's to do list. Dinner in Hard Rock Cafe was a novelty, the food took ages and in my infinite experience of the step-father get bills cut, food came on the cheap. That's my second hard rock cafe and probably my last, it's all a gimmick! I recommend TGI's in Times Square. Always a winner!
Speaking of Times Square, it enjoyed my pocket full of Benji's more than most, Quiksilver hoovering up the jackpot when I bought allegedly the second to last GoPro HD Hero video camera in the city, which after visiting every store that would sell one and every single one concluding in there are none in the city, I felt pretty stoked. I sense the start of a film making frenzy on the horizon. Buying every accessory and attachment made for the thing probably verifies my prediction.
Getting back to the hotel was a comical ride, Georgia's giddy on Captain Morgans and I've been sipping on Long Island Ice Teas and we have no idea how the train system works, so with that "knowledgeable wing-it" nature I speak of we jump on the first train that pulls in and would you know it, Newark Penn Station gets called over the speakers.
Day 2 in New York was spent running around to get those last little bits and pieces. Visited Macy's, which recalling on memories I've found to be surprisingly difficult to navigate. B&H, which is a high-end electronics store, is something from a multi-million dollar budget sci-fi movie. There are human attendants but when a item is in the process of being purchased it gets all robotic, the item gets sent up chutes and whizzed across electronic rollers and all sorts. A geeks paradise!
Back at the hotel I'm chucking my stuff in to bags, jumping on the duffel to get it to close, launching everything in the back of a van and heading to newark airport where I pick up a taxi to JFK and once again, in classic Seb fashion, get to the gate with minutes to spare! The last few moments before I boarded the plane I made a few phone calls to hear the voices I'll miss most, said my goodbyes and see ya laters to an absolutely incredible summer that I'll never forget, is entombed in this collection of memories and headed home!
USA / MKN Summer '11 - Safe Journeys - on to the next Season of Nature's Perfection.

It's Closing Time

The last night out. The last time I'll possibly ever see some of these faces. The last time I'll look out over Lake Ashmere (Camp Danbee), the moon is peeking out brightly behind silhouetted clouds and its mirror image reflecting off the perfectly calm water.

These "lasts" were offset by a couple "firsts". Today was the first time I managed to get out and drive on my own as my buddy Alex allowed me to borrow his big GMC Acadia truck. Swiftly followed by finally seeing our ever elusive but resident Black Bear, "Smokey", as it decided to take its daily jog across the road, just a few yards in front of the vehicle. I stopped the car, wound the windows down and saw Smokey standing behind a bush looking back at me. Quite a daunting, yet powerful, feeling having a huge bear stare you down, much like the time at London Zoo when I was caught dead in the stare of a Lioness. But there wasn't a 3" thick plexiglass between the bear and I. And even though they tend not to, bears have the potential to kill a man. It almost takes your breath away.

The last camp-wide activity was hilarious. We played LAIR, the roleplaying game featured in the movie "Role Models". The kids were all armed with swords, we dressed up and slipped into character and "unsuccessfully" attempted to protect the king's crown and throne!

Everyone's packing up now, it's becoming reality that camp's almost over!

The 7th Week - Turtles and Train

How else do you justify being paid to have an awesome time? We've just got back from being paid to White Water Raft and no sooner that we got back to camp we're on another bus heading to Georgetown, NY to get paid to go Karting. I mean, it's free...and then we're being paid. I'm not complaining at all...just living the dream! =D

The 6 week kids left this morning. One of my kids, Jacob, went and it sucked to see him go, but I'm left with the gratifying knowledge he had an awesome summer. I also saw one of our lil superstar junior campers, Benny, cry his eyes out because he had to go, but I'll remember him for the speed demon he was on the big wheels and the lil angel he is!

Camp went back to normal schedule for Sunday however, evening activity was a little different. The live ESPN showing of the hotly contested and season defining baseball game between the NY Yankees and the Boston Red Sox was put up on a jumbo screen for the campers and counsellors to watch. The Red Sox came out on top, winning 3-2 and it took them in to the league's #1 spot. I still haven't got baseball all figured out. I mean, I know enough to watch, but it's just not cricket. For the most part it's just a game of catch between the pitcher and the backstop.

It's week 7 and the final week of camp. Saturday will ring out the last of the campers and the end of an unforgettable summer. I had plans laid out to go to Hawaii and California, but as fate has it, I must return home. The week has only just begun and I'm already racking up scores of highlights. A giant snapping turtle came up to say hello while I was lifeguarding at the lake. Facts were thrown around about how powerful their jaws are. So my instinct tells me to drop to my knees, reach in the water and stroke it, so hyped.

My day off was switched to Monday as we were in Maine last week. We went to the outlet mall and hung out with some friends on Burbank Beach, Pontoosuc Lake, MA. It was a slow and very spontaneous day off. Come 8pm our streak of defying social correctness continued, we walked straight in to the world famous Tanglewood, Lenox, MA, no questions asked and watched none other than Train bring the house down, especially when "Drops of Jupiter" erupted through the microphone, out the speakers and travelled miles across the Berkshire mountains, the counsellors at camp said they were singing it too. An icy cold beer and the night was set.

Wednesdays and War Cries in Maine

It's Wednesday...every Wednesday is a special day at Mah-Kee-Nac...but this Wednesday is far different to all the other Wednesdays. Yes it's a trip, but this time it's 8 hours away from camp. The road to Maine was long, but the edge smoothed with a selection of great movies. There's not a whole lot else to really say about the journey here. Half way through the journey we stopped off for an hour or so in a sea side village called Old Orchard. To tell you the truth I wasn't impressed at all, it was so tacky with every store selling knock-offs and fake clothing and judging by the view from the pier no point stepping foot on the beach on the account that every square inch was occupied. Apparently it's a half decent surf spot, but by the looks of the village and its lack of surf-anything it's nothing to brag about. Safe to say I wouldn't go back, nor recommend the place.

In utter contrast, we arrive at Twin Pine Cabins on Millenocket Lake, the only words I can use to describe the place are wow, phenomenal and breath taking. It's the stereotypical lakeside setting. Log Cabins, barbecues, viewing docks that stretch out, suspended over the water, park benches under little wooden gazebos and the typical high-backed outdoor lounge chairs. Where the grass ends the water immediately starts, the view looking out is unbelievable, the photos won't do it justice. The body of water is at least 5 times that of Stockbridge Bowl, where my camp is, and looking directly across from Twin Pine is a solitary mountain. To the right, surrounded by water are tiny islands about the size of a tennis court, each covered in trees. The clouds are so defined yet set such a soft background. The sun's setting...the phrase on everyone's lips "this doesn't look real", and I totally agree. So peaceful, so beautiful, I genuinely want to come back here! It's amazing and the people here are so nice!

Danbee girls are here with us, so it's cool to have some faces around that aren't just our campers, monotony drives me insane, but this place and this time, it's just great =)

Early night tonight for an early wake up...we're going white water rafting.

"Yeeeeeehaaaa!"...my uncontrollable war cry. I can't help it, but when I'm going balls to wall, with my hair on fire, heart racing and biggest smile on my face, the next step is my war cry. And going through the Class 4 White Water of the Penobscot River in Maine, on an inflatable raft, is no exception by any means! We're back on the bus heading to the world class ski resort, Sugarloaf Mountain so i'm writing this up now. I had to give the rafting session a 6-7 out of 10, there was a cave and the opportunity to surf at the bottom of a waterfall, but we didn't make it with kids in my boat being sissies and not paddling, but was cool watching the others do it. We went over the waterfall first which was epic. The majority of the journey downstream was a lot of hard work, but getting to the rapids was so worth it. We went through class 3's and a class 4. At one point we stopped climbed out the boats and floated down a natural rockslide. There are some cool videos and pics that will be up on my facebook soon. Definitely going rafting again though.

We arrived at Sugarloaf Mountain Resort in good time and went straight to our cabins, to which my jaw dropped to the floor! This...I could get very used to!!! The cabin has it's own lounge and kitchen upstairs, two rooms with single beds and I've scored the master bedroom! Queen sized bed, en suite, walk in wardrobe and my own TV that I'm currently watching NFL Superbowl re-runs on. The cabin even has it's own wooden deck to BBQ on. I would happily live in a place like this. You'll have to see the pics/video. Spent some time relaxing in the sauna and then in the pool with the kids and Danbee girls. 
Tomorrow dawns the long bus journey back to camp, at least we have lots of movies to watch and stopping off in New Hampshire to shop a little.

Not My Southampton... Olympic Fever

The rains came down and lightning struck the ground, the instant repercussion of thunder physically shook the building and rattled the windows. I saw it and heard it with my own eyes. The closest I've been to a lightning strike. About 150yards between the destructive force of mother nature and I. Much different to the storm I saw in my first week while at Danbee. This storm only lasted an hour and the rain itself was so heavy, the gutters were overflowing and the ground turned in to a lake in a matter of minutes.

The storm put a halt to this week's...scratch that... the entire summer's, biggest, on campus event; The MKN Olympics. The Games were genuine sporting events that ran over 3 days... tennis tournaments, basketball and flag American football games, a swim meet and a lake swim, etc. Then there were slightly less athletic, and more "for fun" and/or artistic events, such a water marathon on the lake (including use of the slide and trampoline), canoe races, and song writing/banner painting.
Every camper was randomly picked and placed in a team, there were 8 teams, each representing a different country. The campers had a field day when they found out on was on Team Australia...don't ask me why but no matter how much proof I provide, they will still swear on their mother's lives that I'm an Aussie, so it was much to their amusement.

My primary role on the team was a coaching role; I took the basketball teams, the flag football teams and we left with a near perfect record in each, losing only one flag football game. The secondary role was lifeguarding the waterfront games.
The entire olympics we placed 5th or 6th, which baffled me with all our wins. The shock came at the closing ceremonies. When they announced 6th, we expected Australia. When they announced 5th we expected Australia. We were adamant we'd be called out next for 4th place, so imagine the uproar when they announced us finishing 3rd.
A few days of great fun and pride seeing the kids achieve some remarkable achievements. One kid, Trevor 13, swam across the lake in 20 mins & 1 second, though he is a junior olympian. Another kid, Saunders, won the tennis tournament, beating the long reigning MKN #1.

All this fun was followed by another relaxing day off. This time we stayed away from lakes and beaches and headed to two very picturesque towns. The first being Northampton, Massachusetts. A town full of beautiful architecture and every store had its own little market stall outside the front door, which gave a unique feel to the town, I would recommend Northampton, MA to anyone. The second town was a little smaller, not really much in it, however it put me a step closer to ticking off the "visit every town, city and village that shares my home city's name" box on my to do list...Southampton, Massachusetts...*tick*. Coincidentally Southampton, MA does have something in common with my Southampton, England; they both have a big Harley Davidson main dealership. We stopped by, dribbled over some stunning bikes and figured I'd buy a T-shirt to prove it =)

The week has now slowed down, we're back to normal program, but tonight we sat down as an Algonquin tribe and we were all told about Wednesday......
=D

Pink Shades

Unbelievable week. There's no other way I can imagine describing this week gone by! And he greatest thing...it's only the start of it!
It's been hot! I mean REAL hot! 102F and 125% humidity.
Mah-Kee-Nac hosted an inter-camp swim meet, which meant a day away from the lake. I've never been much a fan of repetition, so the change in scenery was a welcome one. However, at dinner, I was met wig a barrage of "Sebastian why weren't you there to drive me" and "where have you been all day", it's a great feeling to know I'm doing something right.
Day off took us to Fairfield, Connecticut, a 2.5 hour drive from camp. This led to the first dip I've ever had in American salt water. Penfield Beach was the location it had been far too long since I had salt in my hair and the beauty and satisfaction of seeing sea disappear beyond the horizon and not fresh water stuck in a bowl and the horizon blocked by tree packed hills. In Fairfield we visited two remarkable culinary establishments; one being the Firehouse Deli and EPIC sandwich bar and then Pink Berry; a frozen yogurt bar, serving up the lightest of desserts, with lashings of fresh fruit. A definite recommendation.
A quick comment on the tan...awesome!

The quest to become as useful as duct tape at camp has taken another step forward as the magical hands waved themselves upon a lifeless outboard motor and restored it to it's former glory, 0 duct tape used =)

Friday Night Lights was another one of those moments where the kids all go, "why aren't you the American football counsellor"?
The eldest boys at camp, the Senecas, formed a high school all-star team as the counsellors prepared to do battle with 80% having never touched an American football in their life.
Un-phased each campus fields a team of counsellors per quarter of football. My campus come on with 8 minutes of running clock play time and I'm put in as QB. 1 coast to coast kick return, a 30 yard touchdown completion and a broken up hail mary playing defence...upper senior campus bring home the big W to the calls from my kids..."The British are coming". Haha

The game was a pretty big event, but in every way shape and form was blown out the water last night.
Now this might sound hard to believe but I swear down it's the truth. Helicopters circled the camp, spot lights lighting up everything. Scuba divers rose out of the water and walked up the beach and led us past junior baseball field, where the hoards of kids and counsellors were met by a US Army, Heavy Armoured Artillery Vehicle. The v8 engine erupted in to life and drove up to upper parking lot and an amazing display of fire. Fire poi, flaming kendo sticks and a some girl doing the hula hoop with a ring of fire, backed by flame throwers. The kids were called to upper baseball to the sight of military grade search lights...OLYMPIC BREAKOUUUUUT

Finally in reference to the title, I have an amazing pair of bright pink wayfarer shades. Dad had pink shades and now I have my own pair...footsteps =)